Golden Quotes
Sophia: Great - and what am I supposed to do while every other old lady on the block is watching Cosby?
Dorothy: Well you can sit in the new driveway and hope that an amusing black family drops by.
They thought I was on angel dust!
Blanche Devereaux
I hate criminals, I just hate ‘em! Someone’s gonna pay for this heinous crime! We’re gonna have a good ‘ol fashioned hangin’. That’s right - a hangin’. Only first we’ll have a whippin’, then we’ll have a hangin’. No body takes my momma’s jewels without swangin’ for it. Nighty-night.
Blanche Devereaux
One of my favorites.

One of my favorites.

Why the same thing happened to me when I was in my early 20s. I was taking some classes at Miss McGuyver’s Finishing School. And one night Bobby Joe Springer had escorted me back to my dormitory after the annual Fine Manners Ball when a-innocent goodnight kiss developed into an evening of passion. But at 3AM, the door flung open and there stood Miss McGuyver makin’ one of those bed checks she was famous for.

Well I tried to handle the whole thing like a lady. I waved politely over Bobby Joe’s shoulder with my foot.. But she was unmoved.

Next day she sat me down, gave me a stern lecture, and kicked me out of school. Only I didn’t care.. I knew what ecstasy was.

Blanche Devereaux
Dorothy: Can't you get a refund?
Blanche: Well no, I paid with nature's credit card..
Like I’m the only person who ever mixed a margarita in a sailor’s mouth.
Blanche Devereaux
Don (City Inspector): Yeah, I got a call from a Lois Nylund.
Rose: Oh that's Rose Nylund. Rose, as in a series of seats in a movie theatre.
Don: Or the flower..
Rose: Yeah, that too!